Hi. How are you? Unwell, I’m assuming? If you’re reading about divorce online, you are where I was (a year and a half ago) a week ago, but don’t worry, I got you! Now that we’ve gotten salutations out of the way, who the **** am I?
Great question. I’m a normie millennial divorcée who turned into an emotional dumpster fire over the demise of my marriage.
Statistically, over 50 percent of first marriages end in divorce, and 75 percent of Americans experience a long-term breakup. Blah, blah, blah (you already read this). When I was in the depths of my despair, you could tell me 100 percent of the population experienced divorce, and I’d gladly tell you to f*** off. I was convinced I bore this burden alone. My grief was “special.”
Even though my breakup was unique, pain is universal.
The point is I was not alone in grief, and neither are you. So put down the wine bottle and stop checking your ex’s Instagram page! This book isn’t about me; it’s about you and helping you overcome your breakup.
So, how can I help you with your breakup? What makes this book different?
I’m launching this blog to write a divorce book for the next generation of divorcées: millennials and Gen Z. This book addresses issues millennials and Gen Z face during a breakup or divorce. This includes social media etiquette post-breakup, digital dating, freezing your eggs, and more.
Do you want the DETS? Okay, okay, here are some specific examples:
- Is your ex not responding to your “I want you back” text? Unfortunately, Back to the Future is a fictional film. We can’t time travel yet. Put down your phone and STOP texting. Your breakup is not a mirage; it’s real. The only way out is through.
- Your former sister-in-law is posting photos of your ex with his nieces on Instagram, and he’s giving major ZADDY vibes? Now, you’re vividly replaying that one night in Paso Robles. GIRL, IT’S TIME TO UNFRIEND OR MUTE YOUR FORMER FAMILY (at least while you grieve)
- Your ENTIRE social network noticed you archived your wedding album, and random ex-besties are coming out of the woodwork to “catch up?” EXTRA EXTRA READ ALL ABOUT IT. YOUR BREAKUP JUST LANDED YOU ON YOUR SOCIAL CIRCLE’S PERSONAL, Page Six. Resist the urge to gossip; trust me, you will regret it, and the random lurkers will slither back to their lives once they realize they can’t break you.
- You keep getting mail for your ex at your apartment? You’re just reaching out to let your ex know because you’re sweet and thoughtful? IF IT SOUNDS LIKE AN EXCUSE TO REACH OUT, IT IS AN EXCUSE TO REACH OUT. USE YOUR DISCRETION, BUT RETURN TO SENDER WORKS JUST FINE. HE’S A GROWN UP. HE CAN UPDATE HIS ADDRESS ON HIS OWN.
- You’re signing divorce papers while your friends are signing marriage ketubahs and birth certificates? LIFE IS NOT LINEAR, AND COMPARISON IS THE THIEF OF JOY. Trust that what’s meant for you will not pass you.
I promise to help you get your Emily Ratajkowski chic era, but please help me help you by following along. Since I’m a normie, I can only get published with your help!